For 11 years, 3 months, and 9 days, I have been married to the greatest human being I have ever met. My husband truly is an incredible man. He is kind, caring, compassionate, and just all around wonderful. I am incredibly lucky to share my life with him, raise our children with him, and call him my best friend. But, you know, I wasn't always so lucky.
Because I'm part of the flood. I read an article yesterday that explained it so well:
Have you ever watched videos of dams breaking? It starts with a leak, some space in the wall that hasn’t been patched well enough or made thick enough to hold a trickle of water. One woman is the trickle, and in her path more can follow until the wall falls down, crumbles under the pressure of all that water, and nothing can be held back any longer. I’ve watched this happen in diners, in classrooms, in small booths at dirty bars like some kind of twisted icebreaker. One person shares, then another, and then the dam breaks. This is what it means to grow up. This is what it means to become a woman.https://www.villagevoice.com/2017/10/12/almost-every-single-woman-i-know-has-been-the-victim-of-sexual-assault/
*This question is inspired by Jackson Katzs: The Macho Paradox.
“I don’t know if I continue, even today, always liking myself. But what I learned to do many years ago was to forgive myself. It is very important for every human being to forgive herself or himself because if you live, you will make mistakes- it is inevitable. But once you do and you see the mistake, then you forgive yourself and say, ‘Well, if I’d known better I’d have done better,’ that’s all. So you say to people who you think you may have injured, ‘I’m sorry,’ and then you say to yourself, ‘I’m sorry.’ If we all hold on to the mistake, we can’t see our own glory in the mirror because we have the mistake between our faces and the mirror; we can’t see what we’re capable of being. You can ask forgiveness of others, but in the end the real forgiveness is in one’s own self. I think that young men and women are so caught by the way they see themselves. Now mind you. When a larger society sees them as unattractive, as threats, as too black or too white or too poor or too fat or too thin or too sexual or too asexual, that’s rough. But you can overcome that. The real difficulty is to overcome how you think about yourself. If we don’t have that we never grow, we never learn, and sure as hell we should never teach.”― Maya Angelou
*This post was written by a CisHet woman and her experiences growing up in a fairly gender normative society. I recognize the LGBTTQQIAAP community, I support them and the challenges they face every day.